


I'm holding on and never letting go

by Persephione



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: 5 Times, Actually they all need hugs, Angst with a Happy Ending, College, F/M, Farkle needs a hug, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Maya is an awesome BFF, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 17:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persephione/pseuds/Persephione
Summary: ... or 5 times Farkle told Riley he loved her + 1 time she realised what he meant.+ an extra Joshaya scene, because why not.





	

**1\. Saying goodbye**  
Riley, Maya and Farkle are all relaxing in Riley’s room. The windows are wide open letting in a gorgeous summer breeze. Maya is lying half in, half out the window, basking in the summer sun, Riley is sitting with her back to the wall on the other side of the bay window with a book in one hand and Farkle is lying on the floor with textbooks spread around him. It’s one of the last days of summer and it’s the last day they have to spend together before the three of them go to different colleges. Both Riley and Maya are staying in New York but going to different colleges but Farkle… 

Farkle is going to Princeton. Tomorrow.

Riley puts her book down and looks around at her friends, her best friends since she was 5 years old, she loves them so much and is going to miss them terribly. 

Sensing her maudlin mood Farkle looks up, his eyes bright. “Hey Riley, what’s wrong?”

Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she tries to blink them back. “I’m just going to miss you both, so much.”

“Hey,” Farkle says gently, getting up and sitting next to her. “I’m only a phone call away.” He then pokes Maya in the foot. 

“Hey!” She exclaims indigently pulling out her headphones then, realising the situation, she shuffles in and moves to sit on Riley’s other side, looping her arms around her neck.

“And Maya is only a subway ride away.” Farkle adds.

“Yeah you are not getting rid of me that easily Peaches.” Maya says with a smile.

“But what about you?” Riley turns on Farkle with her big worried eyes. “Who are you going to go to for hugs when your course is getting hard? What happens if Princeton students are mean and horrible to you? Who’s going to be there for you Farkle?”

He swallows thickly, blinking at the sudden urge of love he has for this girl. He opens his mouth but no sound comes out.

Maya sensing his plight comes to the rescue. “He’s got Smackle for cuddles and he’ll still have us. He will always have us Riley, we’re only a drive away.”

Riley turns to Farkle, her face earnest and pleading. “Promise me you’ll let us know if you need us, because we’ll be there for you. Your happiness means a lot to us, to me.”

Farkle swallows the lump in his throat and fights back tears of his own. “I love you, I love you both so much… Of course I will.” 

Riley breaks out of Maya’s embrace and flings her arms around Farkle’s neck hugging him tight. Over her shoulder Farkle and Maya share a glance where for a moment Maya looks incredibly sad for him. He closes his eyes, he doesn’t need Maya’s sympathy at this very moment, he just buries his head in Riley’s hair and breathes in her fresh floral scent.

By the time they release one another Farkle has composed himself a little. “Same goes for either of you, if either of your boyfriends put a foot wrong…" He smiles a wry smile and punches his fist into his hand. “It’ll be Farkle time for them.”

They both laugh and the tension that had settled over the room immediately lifts. Farkle savours the time that he has left with the two of them, because although college won’t break them, it will change their friendship irrevocably.

**2\. Protecting her from himself  
_Half a year later…_**

It is Spring break and they are all meeting up at Topanga’s for coffee and a well-deserved catch up. They’ve all settled in well at their respective colleges but it’s so rare nowadays that they all manage to meet up together that this is a real treat.  
Lucas has his arm wrapped around Riley’s shoulders, Maya is almost crying with laughter at a story Zay is telling her and Farkle is sitting next to Maya smiling at their antics. It takes Riley an embarrassingly long time to realise someone is missing.

“Farkle, where’s Smackle? Did she have some work to finish up or something?”

Farkle’s easy smile slides from his face and he straightens slightly. “Actually, Smackle and I broke up.”

Riley’s jaw drops and Maya and Zay even turn around to pay attention. 

“What?!” Riley exclaims loudly and Maya frowns at her as if scolding her for not being more considerate. Maya turns and loops her arms round Farkle in a sincere hug.

“When did this happen?” She asks in an unusually soft tone for Maya.

“About a month ago.”

“WHAT?!” Riley screeches, before going silent her face crumpling a little. She shrugs out of Lucas’ embrace to face Farkle fully. “You promised to… You didn’t tell me?” She whispers.

Farkle swallows and for the first time looks uncomfortable. “I know you have gotten close to Smackle over the years and…” He closes his eyes and exhales slowly. “It wasn’t a pleasant breakup.” He chuckles but it’s hollow and humourless. “In fact, it was quite horrific.” He looks back up and around at all his friends. “I didn’t want any of you to have to pick sides and…” He looks straight up at Riley with his sharp blue eyes. “I wasn’t in a very good place, I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

He shakes his head and rolls back his shoulders like shaking off a chill and smiles his best charming, “But I’m better now, still the same Farkle.”

“I’m sorry Farkle.” Maya mumbles into his shoulder where she’s still hugging him, before letting go.

“You could have come to me.” Riley whispers brokenly. “I wouldn’t have minded, you should have told me-”

“No.” Farkle says sharply. “No Riley. I love you but this was something I had to get through by myself.” 

She stares at him in disbelief for a moment tears gather at the corner of her eyes before she gets up and runs out of Topanga’s and Farkle winces as he hears her sob.

“Riley!” Lucas shouts after her and makes a move to follow her but Maya ushers him back down, getting up herself. 

“Don’t strain yourself Ranger Rick, I’ve got this one.”

She leans down and kisses Farkle’s cheek before running after her best friend to comfort her.

Farkle groans and leans back closing his eyes as Zay comments. “Well that could have gone better.” 

**3\. Comforting her**  
He finds her curled up in a ball of dark hair and misery in her dorm room, blankets cocooned around her, like they are protecting her from the rest of the world.

She called him a couple of hours ago. He has had nothing but radio silence from her after he revealed his break up with Smackle to her. But she called him clearly upset and needing a friend and Maya was deep into an important art project that Riley can’t bear to tear her away from and he will always be her friend. He’ll always be there for her, come hell or high water. 

She hears his knock and her head pokes up out the blanket heap to see him. He pauses in the doorway and she can feel his heavy gaze taking her in. He doesn’t miss the tear tracks etched into her cheeks or how her forehead is creased with anxiety or the way she keeps looking over at her cell phone like she’s expecting it to ring at any moment.

He clenches his teeth and frowns as if he’s pained before sighing. “Oh Riley, why do you do this to yourself?”

She stares into his ever steady, kind eyes and her face crumples as she fights her way out of her bed and flings herself at him with all the grace of a new-born calf. But it doesn’t matter because he’s already walking towards her, arms at the ready to catch and pull her into a crushing embrace just as she starts to cry. She clutches at his t-shirt and sobs brokenly into the crook of his neck as he holds her close.

“Shh, Riley, it’s all going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

She only cries harder at that, because he’s got her, Farkle’s got her so she doesn’t have to be smiley Riley at this particular moment because Farkle’s here and if she falls he’ll always be there to catch her.

“He’s texting another girl on his phone, more than he’s texting me.” She sobs almost intelligibly. “And he said he would call me but he hasn’t and and and…” She scrunches her eyes up and buries her head into his chest as if to muffle the next painfully honest words. “I don’t think he’s going to.”

Farkle swears and gathers her up in his arms and leads her to the bed, they sit down and he pulls her into his chest.

She continues sobbing for what seems like hours to Farkle but can’t have been that long. Finally her breathing evens out a little and she asks in a small voice.

“Farkle, how can I be better for him? How can I get him to love me? Why doesn’t he love me, Farkle?”

A breath gets stuck in his throat as he realises just how much Lucas has hurt his Riley, how much of her spirit he has broken. And he probably doesn’t even know it. 

He suppresses his anger for the moment and just hugs her tighter. “I love you,” he says fiercely. “Do you hear me? I love you!”

She just clings to him and continues to sob quietly, reveling in his crushing embrace. 

“You don’t need to change for anyone, ever, you are perfect just the way you are Riley, and he is a complete moron if he can’t see how wonderful and beautiful you are.” 

He continues to whisper I love you’s into her skin, desperately wishing he had a magic wand to wish everything better. At the same time he’s already making plans for fixing this mess.

**4\. Putting together the shards (or three conversations Farkle had after no. 3)**

**_That night – Lucas_**  
“I did love her, you know.”  
“I know you did. Which is why you have to end this because you’re only going to continue to hurt her.”  
“I know, I know. Okay. I’ll be there tonight.”  
“Good. And Lucas?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for breaking her heart.”

**_The next day – Maya_**  
“Maya?”  
“Yes, sorry Farkle I was in the middle of something. What’s up?”  
“It’s Riley. She’s going to need you.”  
“Okay Farkle fill me in. Then tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”  
…  
“Isn’t she going to need you as well for this?”  
“No, she… She doesn’t need me right now. I can’t, I can’t be her rebound Maya.”  
*sharp intake of breath* “Jesus Farkle, are you going to go for it then?”  
“You’re not angry?”  
“Honey, you’ve been gone on that girl for as long as I can remember. Me and you, we have our own kind of love, the kind of love where we are always there for each other no matter what, and I’ve always been happy with that.”  
*She pauses, letting that sit with him before asking gently.* “Now, do you need to get somethings off your chest?”  
*Farkle breaks* “Maya, he broke her. You should have seen her she’s barely an echo of her old self. I can’t watch someone else break her heart again.”  
“Don’t worry we’re going to make sure that never happens again, right?”  
“Never again.” 

**_1 month later – Riley_**  
“Maya says you’ve been avoiding me.”  
“Not avoiding you, just giving you some space.”  
“I didn’t need space, I needed you.”  
“No you didn’t. You needed to find a Riley Mathews who wasn’t in love with Lucas Friar. Have you found her?”  
“… Not yet, but I’m getting there. Will you be with me for the rest of the ride?”  
“Always Riley, I love you and I’ll always be there for you.”

**5\. Valentine’s Day**  
He spends hours pacing the length of his bedroom. It is the 13th of February and tomorrow is Valentine’s day, to be more precise it is the first Valentine’s day Riley will spend without Lucas for years. Riley’s come along way since the summer of last year when she and Lucas broke up, and she’s grown a lot as a person because of it, but romantic relationships and her are still a touchy subject. Normally this would be Maya’s territory but Farkle knows that Josh is arriving at Maya’s tonight and is planning to whisk her away for a romantic weekend, he thinks paintballing is in the schedule.

So Riley is going to be alone, on Valentine’s day. Would she welcome his presence? Assuming that she doesn’t already have other plans. Eventually he gives up fretting about all the many ways that this could go wrong and goes to sleep thinking about the few scenarios where this would help her. 

He turns up on her doorstep the next day, a bouquet of beautiful flowers in one hand and her favourite chocolates and some cheesy chick-flick movies in a bag in the other hand. 

The door swings open and she’s standing there in her oldest pyjamas, the ones with the smiley faces on them that have almost faded, she hasn’t got a lick of makeup on and her eyes are puffy like she’s been crying but when she sees him her eyes light up and to Farkle she’s never looked more beautiful.

He swallows and then just starts talking, he hadn’t even seriously contemplated a scenario where she would be happy to see him and suddenly he’s so nervous that when he starts talking he just can’t stop. “So I know it’s not exactly the same, but I thought you might like the company? I’m single and you’re single but that doesn’t really matter because I really just wanted to spend valentines with you this year and just hang out in the company of someone that I love. I bought flowers because you deserve flowers, and chocolates, because who doesn’t like chocolates, and some of your favourite movies and I was thinking we could just order pizza and watch a movie because I-”

He breaks off when she throws her arms around him, he barely gets the flowers out of the way in time so they don’t get crushed. 

He buries his face into her soft hair and breathes in her unique floral scent and returns her crushing hug.

She finally releases him and her eyes are a bit teary at the corners. “Thank you Farkle, thank you.”

Later when they are curled up on the sofa together and Riley’s half asleep on top of him. She don’t know if she imagines the soft press of his lips to her forehead and the heartfelt whisper.

“I love you so much Riley Mathews.”

**\+ 1 When she realised**  
It’s a glorious summer’s day and despite the deadlines that are looming towards her Riley knows that she needs a break before her head explodes. Knowing that Farkle is already finished for the year and is back in New York, she texts him a quick text asking whether he wants to go out and grab some coffee together. They sit across from one another and the conversation comes so easily to them, as it always has, playful banter about his crazy lecturers and tales of Maya’s goings on at art school. They stay there for hours chatting and when it is time to leave he pays for the coffee and holds the door for her and offers to walk her back to her flat. 

She’s laughing at a joke he made as they near her front door and she catches a look in his eyes she hasn’t seen since he was back in turtlenecks. It’s pure joy and it’s just from seeing her laugh.

She loves him so much, she’d never want to live her life without him.

She doesn’t realise she’s stopped until he pauses a couple of steps in front of her and then turns back to look at her with small frown.

“Hey Riley, what’s wrong?” He steps up to her in two strides and now he’s looking down at her with that beautiful crease in between his eyes. 

She frowns and then looks up at him, her head tilted in confusion. “Do- do you love me?” She asks in her painfully blunt honest way.

She watches him carefully, he frowns for a second and something flashes over his eyes but it’s gone in an instant and then he’s shaking his head and smiling down at her with a bemused grin. “Of course I do, I’ve loved you since we were 5 years old Riley, you know that.”

She shakes her head staring up at him in confusion, and she barely realises he is frowning again.

He’s always been there for her, looking out for her, her best interests at heart even if they don’t quite match up with her own at that very moment. How could she have not noticed that all the times he those three special words what he meant was something very different.

“No Farkle, you don’t understand.” 

It feels like the most natural thing in the world for her to step forward and bridge the gap between them so they are hip to hip and only a hairbreath’s away from one another. His eyes widen as she lifts a hand to cradle his cheek.

“Do you love me Farkle?” 

He swallows, his eyes wide and terrified staring down at her and he’s almost frozen to the spot. His eyes unconsciously flicker to her lips, as her hand slides down to curl around his neck. Her fingers hover over his pulse and she feels his heart racing at the same the speed as hers.

“Riley… I-”

She doesn’t let him finish as she reaches up on her tip toes and presses her lips to his in a slow gentle kiss, using the hand on his neck to gently pull him down towards her. It takes him a minute to respond but as she nibbles on his lower lip he groans and loops his arms round her middle and pulls her into him deepening their kiss. She allows him to take control as she enjoys the heat of his body pressed up against her and the feeling of righteousness as their bodies fit together like jigsaw puzzle pieces. After a long couple of moments they break away for air but he holds her close with one arm and cradles her head with the other hand.

His hair is adorably ruffled and he’s panting wetly and those bright blue eyes are searching her face intently like they are looking for something not visible on the surface.

“Why?” He asks.

Warmth fills her heart at the question, he’s not even thrown by her springing this on him, he is just waiting for her justification. She smiles with tears in her eyes and as she replies she’s surprised to find her voice cracking. “Because I’ve been in love with you for just about forever, and I can’t imagine a life without you Farkle.”

His eyes light up with joy and tears gather at the corner of her eyes. 

“I love you so much Farkle and I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it.”

“Don’t say sorry, please don’t.” He cups her head in his hands and searches her eyes like he’s looking for the answers to the universe in them. “Because you’ve just given me everything I ever wanted. I am so unbelievably in love with you Riley and I’m never letting you go again.”

Her heart feels like it’s about to burst out of her chest with all the love and affection she feels for this man and she really has no other choice than to pull him back down for another kiss. 

**\+ 2 Maya**  
Maya groans as she blindly reaches her cell phone sitting on the nightstand that is ringing insistently, despite the late hour. She answers it and winces at the barrel of sound coming from the speakers. “Riley, Riley, calm down what has happened?”

She sits up a little straighter, hearing the response, a little more alert. “What really?! I’m so happy for the two of you Riley!!! Tell Farkle that I’m embarrassed for him that he didn’t get his act together fast enough.”

Then comes a barrage of worried sentences. “Riley, seriously stop worrying. I never liked Farkle in that way, he’s a brilliant guy but I would ruin him in a week. You two are perfect for each other. I. Am. Very. Happy. For. You.”

She laughs at Riley’s reply and then tries to muffle it when Josh next to her groans. “Okay I’ll be over tomorrow and you can tell me all about it, but can I please get some sleep tonight?”

“Okay, love you, bye!”

She hangs up and barely has time to put the phone on the nightstand before Josh is pulling her back in to his chest. She sighs contently burrowing her head in his neck.

“What was that about?” Josh asks half awake.

“Your cousin and the genius finally got their act together, now go back to sleep.” 

Ignoring her command he sits up, looking a bit more awake. She looks up to see him frowning and his hair sticking up in cute tufts adorably.

“What really?” He asks.

She sighs and joins him, knowing that it’ll now be a while before they both manage to fall asleep again. “Yeah, I’m sure we’ll hear about it all tomorrow. She sounded really happy.” She turns and smiles brightly at him. “Not quite as happy as me, though.” 

He smiles like he can’t help himself and ducks his head, reaching out to fiddle with her hand.

“You gonna tell them about our news?” He asks, playing with the sparkling diamond ring newly sitting on her ring finger. 

She moves up to kiss him gently, unable to help herself. “Not tomorrow, give them a week or so to relish it.”

“You’re a good friend,” he murmurs, staring into her eyes.

Her lips twitch and in one smooth movement she settles on his lap and is leaning down to kiss him deeply and thoroughly. 

“But an even better fiancée.” She says with a grin.

His eyes darken in a glorious way that makes her shudder and then he pulls her down for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Can't believe this show is over, I loved it so much. Have had this fic sitting in my files for a while and thought it should see the light of day, before everyone forgets about this wonderful tv show.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
